Finding Heart in the Dark

Love and the Mystery of Betrayal


Several years ago, when my long-time partner left me a few weeks before our wedding, I was blindsided  pretty badly. The loss of faith in this one person hit me much harder than I imagined possible. Learning I had been living a lie threw me into an emotional and spiritual crisis that took me completely by surprise. A kind of existential horror, along with post-traumatic stress left me questioning my understanding of human nature, of good and evil, and of life itself and I wanted to understand why.

I’ve spent the past few years recovering from the shock, picking up the pieces of my shattered life and immersing myself in trying to understand the mysteries of abandonment and betrayal. I did a lot of meditating and inquiry, reading, research and talking to others, caring for myself and struggling with what was happening as I fell apart. In the process, I learned a lot about recovering from this underrated trauma.

When I realized that sharing my struggles and insights might be useful to other people, it offered a sliver of purpose to what otherwise felt like meaningless suffering. So, I started to write Love and the Mystery of Betrayal and to design this website for kindred spirits looking for little lights in their dark passage. It is my hope that you find something here to help you make it through one of life’s most painful experiences.

I offer this site as a resource, wishing for you, too, to know that we are held in the hands of light even as we go through these valleys of the shadows of life.