Finding Heart in the Dark

Sandra-90So many things in life can break our hearts and bring us to our knees. Who can say what or why? What one person shrugs off like a rainy day, breaks another down.

I dedicate this site to those who are making their way through any life passage of heartbreak and loss, whatever the cause: betrayal, abandonment, chronic illness, major disappointment or failure, depression or prolonged grief.

Despite the pain, we can learn to trust the streams of growth and meaning concealed in these our darkest of days. We can learn to listen, to let the suffering lead us to previously unknown regions of the heart—regions of wisdom, strength, tenderness and renewed compassion.

I myself have lost relationships through death, abandonment and betrayal. My approach to the grief and pain has been to dive in, to embrace whatever came as wholeheartedly as possible. The more I learned to lean in and trust the dark messengers life brings, the more they have taught me how to relax my fears and let the wonder of existence seep in.

On this site you will find resources to help you befriend your losses: resources on recovering from interpersonal trauma—including websites, articles and links to practitioners; quotes and music on love, heartbreak and healing; information on narcissism; links to my books that map out steps to healing, my blog notes, and some much needed humor.

As Emerson put it: “Be not the slave of your own past—plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep, and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience that shall explain and overlook the old.


By some grace, I have written two award-winning books born out of difficult times. The first grew out of a series of disturbing non-ordinary states of consciousness as I went through a transition in relationship and community.  Not for the faint of heart, this one is an exploration of daimonic imaginal realms, the in-between world of the archetypes, set in Jungian terms:  Embrace of the Daimon: Healing through the Subtle Energy Body: Jungian Psychology & the Dark Feminine.

Though I swore never to write another book (so much work!), in the midst of a bewildering abandonment and betrayal, I found myself writing the second. For anyone struggling to heal from a heart broken by betrayal, grief or loss: Love and the Mystery of Betrayal: Recovering Your Trust and Faith after Trauma, Deception, and Loss of Love. 

I hope these resources support you in turning toward and befriending your suffering. By embracing our demons, we emerge more readily from brokenness into a wholly unexpected love and trust of life. Against our worst fears, the dark times teach that mystery trumps meaninglessness; love tenderizes pain; powerlessness nourishes faith; and brokenness reveals the wonder of the love that surrounds us.