Whatever the external cause—betrayal, abandonment, illness, death of a loved one, major disappointment or failure, depression or prolonged grief for unknown reasons—the shock of loss of love can bring us to a desolate inner terrain.
We do not know why such suffering is knitted into our lives. It is one of the great mysteries of our existence. But I believe that love and meaning can arise from the ashes of our darkest, most difficult days.
I have lost intimate relationships through separation, death, abandonment and betrayal. When I was able to embrace the pain, confusion, rage and grief, hidden forces miraculously came to my aid. Unexpected wisdom hidden in the pain emerged to support and heal the brokenness. Against my instinctive recoil at the loss of what I held most dear, the grief revealed a deeper love that sustained and surrounded me.
I found that I needed others to find my way to the home of love hidden beneath my broken heart. If you are living with the pain of loss, I hope some of the resources on this site—articles, links, posts, quotes, humor, music or poetry—will help you to find your way back to your own heart. To trusting again, to faith in the amazement of being here at all, and to loving kindness for yourself and for anyone you may find difficult to forgive.
Two award-winning books have emerged out of my most difficult times. After a bewildering abandonment, I could find virtually no validation for what I was going through. As I slowly recognized what a shock I had been through, I realized I was in the throes of the PTSD that so often develops as a result of abandonment and betrayal.
I thought it an important discovery and wanted to share what I was learning so others might find their way to recovery sooner. Love and the Mystery of Betrayal: Recovering Your Trust and Faith after Trauma, Deception, and Loss of Love is the result — a deep dive into the shock of broken trust and the eventual transformation of the pain and grief.
My earlier book Embrace of the Daimon: Healing through the Subtle Energy Body: Jungian Psychology & the Dark Feminine is an exploration of daimonic imaginal realms, the inner spaces between body and spirit, the home of the archetypes. Set in Jungian terms, this book is not for the faint of heart, although it has developed an enthusiastic following. Highly recommended for students of the imaginal, individuation, alchemy, shadow psychology, and women’s issues.