If this is a painful time for you, I am sorry. I don’t know why suffering is knitted into our lives. It is one of the great mysteries woven into our existence. But I do believe streams of love and meaning can rise out of the ashes of our darkest of days.
Whatever the external cause—betrayal, abandonment, illness, death of a loved one, major disappointment or failure, depression or prolonged grief for unknown reasons—we land shocked into the same desolate inner terrain.
I have lost intimate relationships through separation, death, abandonment and betrayal. I finally have learned that by embracing the pain, the rage, and the despair, we invite the wisdom of life to support and heal us. Against our instinctive recoil at loss of what we hold most dear, brokenness gently held reveals a sweet surprise: the deeper love that sustains and surrounds us.
I also learned that we need others to find our way to the home hidden beneath our broken heart. I hope some of the resources on this site—articles, links, posts, quotes, humor, music or poetry—will help you to find your way back to the deepest treasures of your own heart. To trusting again, to faith in the amazement of being here at all, and to loving kindness for yourself and for anyone you find difficult to forgive.
Two award-winning books have emerged out of my most difficult times. After a bewildering abandonment, I could find virtually no validation for what I was going through. As I slowly recognized what a shock I had been through, I realized I was in the throes of the PTSD that so often develops as a result of abandonment and betrayal.
I thought it an important discovery and wanted to share what I was learning so others might find their way to recovery sooner. Love and the Mystery of Betrayal: Recovering Your Trust and Faith after Trauma, Deception, and Loss of Love is the result — a deep dive into the shock of broken trust and the eventual transformation of the pain and grief.
My earlier book Embrace of the Daimon: Healing through the Subtle Energy Body: Jungian Psychology & the Dark Feminine is an exploration of daimonic imaginal realms, the inner spaces between body and spirit, the home of the archetypes. Set in Jungian terms, this book is not for the faint of heart, although it has developed an enthusiastic following. Highly recommended for students of the imaginal, individuation, alchemy, shadow psychology, and women’s issues.