Finding Heart in the Dark

Sandra-90So many things in life can break our hearts and bring us to our knees. Who can say why? What one person shrugs off like a rainy day, breaks another down for months, even years.

That is why I am dedicating this site to anyone who is making their way through heartbreak and loss. Whatever the cause— betrayal, abandonment, chronic illness, death of a loved one, major disappointment or failure, or depression or prolonged grief for unknown reasons—we land in the same desolate, but compelling inner terrain.

I am convinced now that there are streams of growth and meaning concealed in these our darkest of days. We can learn to listen, to let the suffering lead us to previously unknown inner resources of wisdom, strength, tenderness and renewed compassion.

I have lost relationships through death, abandonment and betrayal. My approach to the grief, rage, fear and pain has been to dive in, to embrace whatever came as wholeheartedly as possible.  I learned that by embracing our demons, we emerge more readily from brokenness into a wholly unexpected love and trust of life. Against our worst fears, the dark times teach that mystery trumps meaninglessness; love tenderizes pain; powerlessness nourishes faith; and brokenness reveals the wonder of the love that surrounds us.

On this site I hope you will find resources to help you befriend your losses, too—including websites, articles and links to practitioners; quotes and music on love, heartbreak and healing; information on coping with narcissistic wounding; links to my books that map out steps to healing, my blog notes, and some much needed humor.

As Emerson put it: “Be not the slave of your own past—plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep, and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience that shall explain and overlook the old.


By some grace, I have written two award-winning books born out of these difficult times. The first grew out of a series of disturbing non-ordinary states of consciousness as I went through a transition in relationship and community.  Not for the faint of heart, this book is an exploration of dark, daimonic imaginal realms, the in-between world of the archetypes, set in Jungian terms:  Embrace of the Daimon: Healing through the Subtle Energy Body: Jungian Psychology & the Dark Feminine.

Though I swore never to write another book (so much work!), in the midst of a bewildering abandonment and betrayal, I found myself writing the second. For anyone struggling to heal from a heart broken by betrayal, grief or loss: Love and the Mystery of Betrayal: Recovering Your Trust and Faith after Trauma, Deception, and Loss of Love. 

I hope these resources support you in befriending your brokeneness and finding your way back to the treasures of your own heart.