Finding Heart in the Dark

Love and the Mystery of Betrayal

Sandra-90Several years ago my long-time partner left me abruptly a few weeks before our wedding.  The shock drew me into an unprecedented physical, emotional and spiritual crisis.

The extent of my unraveling took me completely by surprise. I had been a strong and high-functioning professional who now was reduced to a broken heap on my bedroom floor. Intrusive, distressing replays of the trauma — a sign of PTSD I later learned — haunted my days and nights, not simply for months, but for years.

I’ve spent the past few years picking up the pieces of my shattered life and immersing myself in the mysteries of trauma, grief and loss. I did a lot of meditating and inquiry, reading, research and talking to others. In the process, I learned about betrayal trauma — what some call “the most underrated trauma”.

As part of the healing process, I spent nearly four years writing the award-winning Love and the Mystery of Betrayal.   I am grateful for the many notes and reviews from readers expressing their appreciation for the validation, clarity and guidance for healing. The book has helped many others recognize what happened to them.

I offer this site as a resource for kindred spirits looking to make their way through this distressing, but promising life passage. It is my wish that you come to trust these dark times and let them lead you deeper into your heart than you have gone before. May you come to sense how mystery trumps meaninglessness; love tenderizes pain; and brokenness reveals the wonder of existence.