Articles and Posts

Narcissism

I have selected narcissism articles to offer a broader understanding of how to recognize this personality pattern. We all have narcissistic wounding, it is a matter of degree.  The more we can recognize these tendencies in ourselves or others, the more likely we can protect ourselves from harm or harming others.

For my take on how narcissism can show up in an intimate relationship, sign up for our mailing list to download the free eBook: Notes on Narcissism

Silent Treatment: Preferred Weapon of People with Narcissism
Andrea Schneider, LCSW
http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/silent-treatment-a-narcissistic-persons-preferred-weapon-0602145

Let Go or Be Dragged
Sandra L. Brown, MA
http://saferelationshipsmagazine.com/sandra-says
“Over and over again, I have learned how damaging, how unrelenting, the aftermath is from pathological relationships.”

5 Signs You’re Experiencing Narcissistic Whiplash
Stepping into the Sun
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/divorced-moms/5-signs-youre-experiencin_b_6710530.html
Everyone would lose a match against my ex-husband…. It was always a nasty show. He wasn’t satisfied until the other person was cut to ribbons. But then, per the narcissistic attitude, he’d be the one to build them up one last time. Make sure his targets were whole again when he left them so he could come back and do it all over again.”

Sex, Sexuality and the Psychopath/Sociopath: An Introduction
Seth Myers, MD
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight-is-2020/201410/sex-sexuality-and-the-psychopathsociopath-introduction
“Conventional wisdom suggests that sex should be an emotional and intimate experience. .. Simply put, a psychopath would be the last person in the world to have that kind of lasting, sustainable connection.

6 Subtle Characteristics of the Pathological Liar
Támara Hill, MS
http://blogs.psychcentral.com/caregivers/2014/09/6-subtle-characteristics-of-the-pathological-liar/
“They tell truths in ways that give incorrect perspectives. In other words, they tell the truth in a misleading way, which causes people to view things in an incorrect fashion. Such individuals enjoy and get much gratification from keeping you confused and believing their stories.”

Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse
Andrea Schneider, LCSW
http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/recovering-from-narcissistic-abuse-part-iii-the-groundhog-0129145
“Individuals who are recovering from the aftermath of a relationship with someone who was narcissistic often require months of therapy, self-reflection, and active self-care to heal from this form of abuse. Maintaining a no-contact policy is vital to the healing and recovery of the target.”

Empathic people are natural targets for sociopaths – protect yourself
Dr Jane and Tim McGregor
http://www.sott.net/article/268449-Empathic-people-are-natural-targets-for-sociopaths-protect-yourself
“People targeted by a sociopath often respond with self-deprecating comments like “I was stupid”, “What was I thinking” of “I should’ve listened to my gut instinct”. But being involved with a sociopath is like being brainwashed. The sociopath’s superficial charm is usually the means by which s/he conditions people.”

Why Narcissists Sabotage Relationships
Faye Armitage
http://www.examiner.com/article/why-narcissists-sabotage-relationships
“What you tend to find on an ongoing basis is that narcissists want to keep you guessing, and insecure about where the relationship is going.”

Shining a Light on Emotional Rape
Donna Andersen
http://www.lovefraud.com/2013/05/08/shining-light-emotional-rape/
“When they deceive you about their character in order to cause you to feel a loving bond with them, they are committing emotional rape. They are defrauding you of your highest emotion, which is love.”

5 Early Warning Signs You’re with a Narcissist
Dr. Craig Malkin
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-craig-malkin/narcissists_b_3331293.html
“In real life, the most dangerous villains rarely advertise their malevolence. How do we protect ourselves from narcissists if they’re so adept at slipping into our lives unnoticed?”

Feeling Like a Victim
Deborah Ward
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sense-and-sensitivity/201209/feeling-victim
“So how does a person who is highly sensitive to their environment and to the feelings of others protect themselves not only from the malevolent intentions of narcissists, but from the negative victim belief that increasingly develops in their own mind?”

Confessions of a Sociopath
M.E. Thomas
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sense-and-sensitivity/201209/feeling-victim
“In explaining their horrible actions, people often say that they “just snapped.” I know that feeling. I stood there for a moment, letting my rage reach that decision-making part of my brain, and I suddenly became filled with a sense of calm purpose. I blinked my eyes and set my jaw…”

Eroticized Dominance – Emotional Grooming, Predatory Behaviors As Cultural Norms?
Athena Staik, Ph.D.
http://blogs.psychcentral.com/relationships/2011/10/eroticizing-dominance-grooming-sexual-predatory-behaviors-as-norms/
“In a cultural context that relegates empathy, vulnerability and emotional closeness as weakness or “girly,” and emotions of pain, hurt or fear as signs of inferiority or defect, especially for men… is it any wonder why so many couples get tripped up in their attempts to create vibrant, mutually enriching relationships?”

How to Spot a Narcissist
Samuel López de Victoria, Ph.D.
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/08/04/how-to-spot-a-narcissist/
“No matter how socially skilled an extreme narcissist is, he has a major attachment dysfunction. The extreme narcissist is frozen in childhood. He became emotionally stuck at the time of his major trauma of separation/attachment.

Hot to Help
Daniel Goleman
http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/hot_to_help
“When can empathy move us to action? Those who fall within psychology’s “Dark Triad”—narcissists, Machiavellians, and sociopaths—can actually put cognitive empathy to use in hurting people”

Common Everyday Sociopaths
Adam Khan
http://youmeworks.com/sociopaths.html
“If you find yourself often pitying someone who consistently hurts you or other people, and who actively campaigns for your sympathy, the chances are close to one hundred percent that you are dealing with a sociopath.”

Personal Stories (Narcissism)

My Own Personal Insights on How to Heal from a Narcissistic Relationship
First Wives World
https://www.firstwivesworld.com/index.php/featured-stories/item/8814-my-own-personal-insights-on-how-to-heal-from-a-narcissistic-relationship
“We all reach a stage with divorce from a Narcissist when we think like this: What is wrong with me? Was I just stupid not to see this? Why did I stay?”

Want to Heal? Focus on the Details
Mayre
https://www.firstwivesworld.com/index.php/my-narcissistic-ex-husband/item/8569-want-to-heal?-focus-on-the-details
“Your brain is a brilliantly created computer and living with a narcissist corrupts most, if not all, of your files. The first thing that you have to change is the idea that your relationship was average, healthy, or normal. It wasn’t. As soon as you can grasp the idea that everything your ex said or did was shrouded with deception then you can begin to heal.”

Hate and Your Potential for Relapse
Sandra Brown, M.A.
http://saferelationshipsmagazine.com/hate-and-your-potential-for-relapse-part-2-moving-toward-detachment
Emotional detachment and holy indifference remind us that we are not responsible for a disorder that is incurable and untreatable.”

OMG, Could I Be a Narcissist?
Mayre
https://www.firstwivesworld.com/index.php/my-narcissistic-ex-husband/item/8428-omg-could-i-be-a-narcissist
“There are many different types of narcissists, and honestly more categories being created every day. To some extent narcissism is to 2014 what ADHD was to 1984.”

Controlling Your Anxiety When You Have to Deal with Your Narcissistic Ex
Mayre
https://www.firstwivesworld.com/index.php/my-narcissistic-ex-husband/item/8422-controlling-your-anxiety-when-you-have-to-deal-with-your-narcissistic-ex
“It takes a long time to heal after you’ve been involved in a narcissistic relationship – don’t let anyone try to tell you anything else . . . plan on slowly healing over a period of years.”

Healing Trauma and Restoring Balance After Chaos
Dianna Bonny
http://livingonthefaultlines.com/dianna-bonny/healing-trauma-and-restoring-balance-after-chaos/
“There are days when I don’t want to get out of bed. The residue of the long, restless night seeps into the day and fills my cells with a resistance to facing what is before me. I long to feel normal again….”

The Vampire’s Bite: Victims of Narcissists Speak Out
Leon F Seltzer Ph.D.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/201404/the-vampire-s-bite-victims-narcissists-speak-out
“So how do the narcissist’s victims (more commonly women than men) get emotionally entangled with such difficult individuals in the first place?”

Can a Narcissist Move On?
Kim Saeed
http://letmereach.com/2014/03/15/can-a-narcissist-move-on/
“These are search terms that come up on my stats page quite frequently.  Readers want to know if a Narcissist can move on from their relationships.  Honestly, it depends on the depth of their narcissism and typically depends on one factor: Whether they left you or you left them.”

Understanding How Sociopaths Think: Why It is Good to Ask Why
HealingJourney
https://www.psychopathfree.com/content.php?278-Understanding-How-Sociopaths-Think-Why-It-is-Good-to-Ask-Why
Sociopaths have an insatiable need to win. This desire to win is so strong that they sometimes will take themselves down in the process of becoming the “winner.” Because they are unable to build real relationships, they view their interactions with others as games.”

Why Does it Take So Long to Get Over a Relationship with a Narcissist?
Peace
https://www.psychopathfree.com/content.php?270-Why-Does-it-Take-So-Long-to-Get-Over-a-Relationship-with-a-Psychopath
“Relationships with psychopaths take an unusually long time to recover from. Survivors often find themselves frustrated because they haven’t healed as fast as they’d like. They also end up dealing with friends and therapists who give them judgmental advice about how it’s ‘time to move on’.”

Psychological and Emotional Invalidation
After Narcissistic Abuse
https://afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/darkness/psychological-and-emotional-invalidation/
“I think one of the most covertly abusive aspects of the narcissistic relationship is psychological and emotional invalidation. When the narcissist has NO reaction to us at all, it denies our humanity.”

Sex After the Psychopath: Healing from Physical Manipulation
Peace
https://www.psychopathfree.com/showthread.php?1422-Sex-After-the-Psychopath-Healing-from-Physical-Manipulation
“I strongly believe that the emotional attachment that forms during intercourse (with a deceptive/psychopathic partner) is rape. We are unknowingly forming a chemical bond with a con artist. Our consent is based on a lie….You were tricked into feeling these overwhelmingly strong emotions.”

The Deceitful Narcissist!
Tigress Luv
http://breakups.org/narcissist-deceit.html#.VPeepEYnpx1
“After the narcissist, you may feel as if you will never be able to trust the genuineness of any other person ever again.”

You Think that You are So Special
Tavia
http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/manipulator/special.shtml
This is a classic post. Recommended reading for anyone who has survived an abusive or destructive NPD relationship. You may be all too familiar with these scenarios.