Love and the Mystery of Betrayal
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My Story
Several years ago, a few weeks before our wedding, my long-time partner suddenly left me. Since I had been a resilient, high-functioning professional, I was astounded in the aftermath of this shock by the extent of my unraveling. My competence and confidence evaporated and I was reduced to a broken heap on my bedroom floor. Hyper-vigilance, numbness, and replays of his departure moved in and haunted my days and nights. Not for weeks or months, but for years. Despite advanced degrees in psychology and spirituality, I was bewildered by what was happening to me. I needed and wanted to understand it! I spent the next few years immersing myself in the mysteries of trauma, grief and loss. During this time, I read and researched, prayed and meditated, did deep-diving and soul-searching, as well as talking to others…I learned a lot. Throughout this time, I felt a calling, a responsibility, to share what I was learning. From the depths of my own experience, I began to write Love and the Mystery of Betrayal. Now, I am grateful for the awards the book has garnered. But I’ve been especially touched by the many notes of relief, validation and appreciation from readers. The book has helped many people recognize and heal betrayal trauma—a shock that is downplayed and dismissed in our culture—and to move through the often unrecognized prolonged grief abandonment triggers. Neuropsychology has confirmed that betrayal registers in the same brain centers as physical pain. Worse, rejection also stimulates another brain center that causes intense cravings. Similar to withdrawal from an addictive drug, like nicotine or cocaine. These cross currents of hurt and longing can create a form of biopsychological torment. Studies show that the stress is equivalent to having a magnum .44 pointed at your head. And betrayal trauma can go on for months, or even years, if not treated. Understanding what is happening to you can help you to bear what seems unbearable. When betrayed, the grief, rage and heartache can be overwhelming. The intensity of the pain —as well as how long it lasts— makes it seem there must be something terribly wrong. And there is! The shock shatters our usual sense of self, inflicting a trauma of the first magnitude. The devastation of a serious betrayal is often too much to bear. For self-protection, we deny, repress, or act out in addictions, illness, damaging sexuality or other self-destructive behaviors. To make matters worse, we live in a culture that is blind to betrayal, denies and stigmatizes emotional pain, and reveres power that is so often misused when we are betrayed. At the same time, betrayal can be powerful soul medicine. The disease being treated is our limited relation to ourselves, to reality really!This book will help you realize the scale of the re-alignment going on in your soul. It will help you recognize that you are in the midst of an initiation into the depths of the suffering and compassionate heart that will open you to a sweetness of love and life never before available to you.“God Bless you, Sandra Lee Dennis! for this brilliant, comforting book for the betrayed. ….you offer hope when we cannot see how we will ever have it again.”—Kelly Owens, Goodreads review
“Slowly I’ve been reading and pondering your book, for which I am so grateful!…Your book though so deeply revealing is a masterpiece!” —Sister Helen.E. Provost, personal correspondence
“Sandra’s excellent book, ‘Love and the Mystery of Betrayal,’ is a must read for anyone who has, or is working with people who have been abused in any way, physically, emotionally, spiritually or sexually. She writes in an accessible way that will help anyone to understand the process of abuse/betrayal…It is a book I know I will return to and recommend to my clients.” —K. Holding, LinkedIn
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USA Best Book Awards
Finalist (Non-fiction Narrative)

ForeWord Reviews’ Indiefab Book of the Year
Finalist (Psychology)

Next Generation Indie Book Awards
Finalist (Psychology)

Kindle 2015 Book Review
Semi-Finalist (Nonfiction)